older, harder, not necessarily wiser

the thing is we don’t have to hate each other for growing older, we just have to forgive ourselves for growing up
– kevin arnold, from the wonder years

i have to admit that i have a very idealistic look on life. i choose to take things positively and have managed to get through some hard times that way. of course, i have never encountered a really tough situation; one where my faith in God is shaken, where half-full mentality will not work, but that’s because i’m only a 22-yr-old ultra-sheltered medical student.

as we grow older, the problems that we face become more complicated, more multi-layered and they seem more and more out of control. no doubt that will only get worse as the years go on. it’s like taking an exam where, as we grow up, the questions become harder and we become hardened.

i’m not there yet, but my sister is. for the life of me, i cannot and will not be able to understand or relate to or even see what it is that she has been through and is going through.

maybe one day when we’re much older, she will sit me down and tell me what i’ve missed.

for now, though, i can only accept the things that happen and realise that alot of what i know only scratches the surface of what really is. i can forgive those around me for growing up and growing older, harder but not necessarily wiser. it’s not their fault.

we just malfunction that way.

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