this is a random post

two many details…

sms: sorry didn’t reply…in e toilet.

msn: brb tandas

boys, i really don’t need to know. thanks.

there are times that i wish there were more obvious displays of affection in my family. we don’t hug/kiss each other, we don’t even say “i love you“. there’s just a silent acknowledgment of our unspoken devotion to each other. while i’ve never doubted my family’s love for me, it would be great if we were more vocal in expressing it.

having neither practice nor examples to look to, it is hardly surprising then that i have never told my parents that i love them. never.

the most dangerous kind of guy is not the one with multiple skull tattoos or the reputation of being a player. it is the man who is chivalrous, charming and considerate. he can snare a girl’s heart just by being who he is because she wouldn’t understand the fact that he’s a darling all the time and it has nothing to do with her. he’s wired that way.

girls, don’t fall for it. don’t fall for him. if he were really interested, he wouldn’t treat you the same way as he treats the other girls who swarm around him as well. he would not only be nice to you, he’d be obviously much more ridiculously nice to you.

guys, you dangerous guys, remember that smses are evil and pseudo-bordering-on-intimate behaviour is a total no-no. just don’t do it. you may break a couple of hearts if you do.

you may break my heart if you do.

i have discovered the reason why i find myself constantly bemoaning the fact that i struggle to belong – i am just not sensitive or caring enough to love people.

i’ve always thought that the main reason i enjoy medicine is my desire to love people. it is disappointing to realise that i see cases like riddles to be solved and discarded once the solution has been revealed. an apathetic problem-solver, that’s who i am!

how sad.

9-11 april: kkb
13-15 april: cf camp @ methodist centre, port dickson
21 april: imu ball
28 april: sold out album launch

when i am alone in my car, driving home after a long day, i think about the events of the day and how i could have done things differently. my blunt observations come back to haunt me. maybe i shouldn’t have said that. perhaps i should have phrased this or that in another way. what if he was offended? what if she now thinks i’m a bitch?

i know that whatever opinion there is of me, only God is in the position to judge. however, i find it hard to identify whether or not these doubts that i entertain in my solitude come from the desire to improve or are actually lies of the devil to put myself down and crumble every inch of self-esteem i have struggled to build over the years.

does it really matter that much whether people like me? should i be praying for my greater sensitivity, discerning ability and tact? or maybe i should be praying for the people who judge me too quickly, are too sensitive themselves and who take offense too easily.

endocrine ica on friday. time for some fnb outlet studying. bye bye RM11 (for a regular mocha latte at coffee bean – still better than starbucks anytime!).


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s