a christian is an athlete, the walk with God is a race. we must desire to win. a failure mentality is not equal to humility; being humble comes from the heart, not the mind. you must have the correct attitude and the correct outlook and then take action. expect nothing less than great things from God and attempt nothing less than great things for God!
– notes from ps sean prasad‘s opening message at cfcamp07.

last sunday, as i was whining about my jpa thing to ian, i told him that i am going into the appeal with no expectations because after all the praying, there’s still not much of an inkling as to where God is going with this. all i know is, there’s a conviction from Him that i should just try. another reason for me not having any expectations is because of a phrase i’ve adopted as my personal motto: no expectations, no disappointments.

i was, however, a little confused after ps tim’s sermon about living in the supernatural realm, believing God is capable of miracles. doesn’t that warrant having expectations, and incredible ones at that? doesn’t that also predispose to greed? what about being content?

i asked ian about it, and he said that although i should be grateful and thank God for what i already have, there should always be the belief still that nothing is above God. i brought it up during the trip to melaka, and the general consensus is that expecting great things from God is only greed if it’s done in the wrong manner, with the wrong kind of heart.

i can understand all that. i also know that there will always be a constructive way of coping with disappointment. when we expect great things, there is also the fact that we have to surrender all to God and understand that in the end, it all goes according to His will, not ours. it seems contradictory and it was the source of my confusion (ambitious yet content? striving for more yet grateful for little?) but it does kind of make sense.

still, i am wary about having expectations. disappointments always seem to find themselves where expectations lay and sometimes i think it’s so cruel to have to keep crumbling under circumstances and then build back up again while drawing on the strength of God. perhaps He’s breaking me down so i can come back stronger, but i fear that i may be at the point where i can no longer deal with the disappointments that follow any expectations i have of anything.

we are not called to be people who desire nothing and strive for nothing, happy and content with the mediocre. we are called to do great things and glorify God in all that we do. there should be great expectations and not an attitude that limits God.

yet just how many more disappointments must i go through until all this pondering is no longer an issue?


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