i’m an expert at doing what i should do, or at least trying to, but i find it difficult to put heart into the things i get myself involved in.
i was of the opinion that only a fine line separates responsibility and obligation, but now i am inclined to think otherwise. responsibility comes with sincerity; obligation is all action, no heart. there’s no sense of joy, no sense of ownership towards the task at hand. the lack of soul in my actions leaves a greater chasm that i previously thought it would.
it’s no wonder i’m tired these days. i’m more of a hypocrite and a machine than a human being, far from being a child of God, trained to cover blemishes with carefully rehearsed words and verses.
do i deserve the trust people have in me when i’m shortchanging them each day?