where i am

this is where i am.

in the middle of a mess i have no intention of cleaning.

a hypocrite reflecting badly on who i am.

reluctant to carry out duties i have put myself in.

a wreck inside.

i know what i’m doing is wrong but i have turned deaf ears upon the peace spoken to me.

instead i have succumbed to pressure and fatigue.

dig me a hole so i can hide there.

sigh.

i’m trying, i’m trying…but not as hard as i can. this is not my best, and i know it. i’m cheating people of my best, cheating God of my best, every single moment and it is eating away at me all the time. still the sloth resides in me and refuses to budge. this is me at my worst. that’s where i am – at my very worst.

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