in the midst of the “mini-crisis” i’m in at the moment, i’ve actually discovered something about parenting.
your children are going to imitate you, the way you live, the way you work out your relationships. you can take them to sunday school, read child psychology books, give them good advice, but at the end of the day they will reflect you whether you like it or not.
if the way you communicate is through yelling, your daughters will yell too. if you refuse to listen and resort to raising your voice to demonstrate your point, your daughters will think the only way to get you to hear them out is to be louder than you. if you show that you don’t really care what they do as long as their report cards come out clean, they will learn to not really care as long as they give you clean report cards every semester. if you show your affection through twisted mixed signals, your daughters will choose to appreciate you in ways you won’t understand.
so if you ever find yourself wondering why you don’t have hallmark-worthy children who kiss you goodnight, go to you for advice, smile when you enter the room, hug you before they leave the house and tell you they love you…take a good, hard, long look at your own less-than-disney self.
i can’t say that i will be the kind of parent that can fit right into a heart-warming pixar animation in the future, but i do know that if i ever want my children to be the kind i can talk to over cups of hot milo, i’ll have to change the way i respond (not react) to situations first.