not very pleasant

“teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “ ‘love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ this is the first and greatest commandment. and the second is like it: ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’ all the Law and the prophets hang on these two commandments.”
matt22:36-40

what i’m going through may be nothing compared to the kind of things others have to endure in the process of really becoming broken bread and poured out wine for Jesus, but it doesn’t mean that the pruning is any less painful relative to the level at which i am right now.

i praise God for His mercy, for not allowing a situation that is beyond me, for reminding me that works will get me nowhere but His grace will stretch the miles that i can go. it still doesn’t mean the pruning is less painful, but it means i have the chance to learn the lesson now, instead of when even more damage is done.

all my heart and all my soul and all my mind…i guess i’ve never really bothered to understand what that meant (head knowledge yada yada), nor did i consider how difficult it was going to be even in small petty situations like this.

but it’ll be worth it, i know it will. just that it’s not very pleasant at all.

today i waded through a sea of blank-faced people at the friendly neighbourhood wet market. it made me think of how close we are to people we don’t know – 6 degrees of separation, the internet, the people whom we work/study with, the ones that literally live next door. they’re all neighbours that we’ve been commanded to love…as ourselves, no less.

a shiver went up my spine when that thought passed through my mind. in addition to the people that i already love with my own human ability, i am supposed to love the people who don’t smile at me, who will not lend me a hand, who will probably spit at me and curse me, who will betray me in a second? Lord, are You kidding me?!

all the Law and the prophets…that doesn’t sound like a joke. in fact it sounds extremely serious, not to be taken lightly at all. i guess i’ve never really felt the weight of His words, nor did i consider how difficult it will be in reality.

but it’ll be worth it, i know it will. just that it’s not very pleasant at all.

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