“don’t let someone be a priority in your life if you’re just an option in theirs. relationships work better when they are balanced.“
i typed 3 separate blog posts about the quote above and deleted them all because none of them could fully express the myriad of thoughts that i have about those two sentences.
maybe it’s because i loathe being taken for granted, hence i try my best to not treat others lightly, especially those who obviously show that they make me a priority in their lives. however, i must have very high standards as to determine who i feel considers me a priority because i can only think of maybe 4 people right now – three of whom are part of my family and the remaining one not a solid human being – who really do.
maybe it’s because i enjoy thinking about the people i like and doing or saying nice things to them. unconditionally, yes, but you have to know that no one would ever refuse something in return, especially if it’s not asked for but granted without request. to be continually given a “thanks for everything, but i’m gonna go back to my own life now” response is spirit-breaking. it’s what births quotes like the one above. screw them. they don’t appreciate you. go find someone who does.
maybe it’s because i’ve received smses like “thank you for remembering me” and “thank you for letting me play” that show i’m not the only one who longs to be made a priority in someone’s life. to know that i’m thought of, prayed for, gone the extra mile for…i guess it’s something we all want despite the calls to be spiritually strong, confident and high-achieving.
maybe it’s because the quote seems to be referring to romantic relationships (or lack thereof) instead of something more general. as someone who has known nothing but unrequited feelings and time lavished on the wrong people, it hits home the message that i should stop wasting my energy on people that obviously do not hold me to the same esteem. it’s a lesson i’ve learnt well, and a practice i intend to keep.
the bottom line is, the world would have you believe in “quid pro quo” – something for something. this is where selfishness and hedonism comes from.
if you only maintain a relationship because you’re getting something in return, i question the very nature and motive of you keeping up the friendship in the first place. if everyone were easily discouraged by every less-than-enthusiastic response from someone they cared for, then we should very well retire into isolation and care for no one but ourselves. why on earth were we then created with the ability to love in the first place?
it seems like the only place the quote can and ever should be applied is when we put a flawed being on a pedestal and worship them as the centre of our lives eventhough the word “partnership” has no meaning in theirs.
otherwise, it’s best to be selfless in dishing out love to one another and refuse to let condemnation get us down. that way, we’re guaranteed to be priorities in each other’s lives and no one would ever have to be an option.