i’m not feelin’ christmas at all this year. perhaps it’s got to do with those three letters (E, O and S) or maybe it’s because my father’s not around or perhaps i’m making the prospect of entertaining friends the weekend before christmas more of a chore than it should be. whatever the reason, i’m just not feelin’ it.
which pours a whole lot of guilt on me, really. here i am, trying my very best to remember that christmas isn’t about wedding anniversaries or friends i haven’t seen in 13 years but actually about the birth of a baby boy that has saved my life…and i can’t feel the joy, the love that represents everything this holiday is.
i refuse to let my exams and impending social plans steal christmas from me. it hardly seems fair for the wonder of a humbly-born child, named the saviour God with us, to be withheld from me.
maybe i shall immerse in the words of one of my favourite christmas carols: “a silent wish sails the seven seas, the winds of change whisper in the trees, and the walls of doubt crumble – tossed and torn, this comes to pass when a child is born.“
let the walls of doubt crumble. as the shepherds praised Him as they worked on the night Christ was born, so shall i praise Him through this season no matter how little i’m feelin’ it.