still here

would you talk to someone after they’ve ignored you for a long time? would you entertain them, especially if the only reason they’ve come back to you is to ask for help? what if you were once somewhat close to them and whatever request they’re making is within your capabilities? but what if, at the same time, you’re disappointed that the promise they made to keep in touch no matter what turned out to be cheaper than you thought?

would you still listen and maybe respond to what they say to you?

it’s only been a week, but i feel like it’s been an eternity since i’ve spoken to You. i dutifully read my little devotion book, but i didn’t make an attempt to connect to the words and i didn’t ask You what they meant. i was down-trodden, losing confidence in myself by the minute. i didn’t tell You any of this because i was disappointed and ashamed by how i chose to withdraw from You when i promised that i won’t.

it’s been a horrible week being away from You, Lord. i’m sorry. are You still here?

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