too much credit

maybe redemption has stories to tell
maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
where can you run to escape from yourself?
where are you gonna go? salvation is here.
– from “dare you to move” by switchfoot

maybe it’s the concert, maybe it’s the black eyeliner i’ve been putting on every time i leave the house, but i’ve been emo-ing for the last couple of days, singing the bridge above under my breath.

where do i run to escape from myself? i run beneath the covers of others’ miseries and pain, pretending that i’m being noble, believing that it’s my responsibility to save them from drowning. as if a listening ear is a reliable band-aid. as if compassion is enough to draw them out of the water. as if i am a martyr for being empathetic. as if i can dole out redemption, forgiveness, salvation. as if i am the answer to the world’s problems, even if i choose to ignore my own.

i give myself too much credit and give God not enough.

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