there just isn’t anything that i want so badly that i am willing to do whatever it takes to achieve it.
does contentment equal a loss of ambition? i no longer remember what mine are. i’ve become the people-pleaser i swore i wouldn’t be – i just don’t want anything for myself. i’m mediocre. i have no passion for anything. i feel tired. i don’t see the point of trying anymore. after all, people get by just being average.
so why bother?
i’ve been overestimated by everyone, including myself. i started striving to live up to those expectations so early that now i am near a burnout. i should have never yearned for the spotlight. now it won’t leave me alone.
i don’t deserve it. i don’t want it. i don’t need it.