i turned the radio off during the drive home tonight. i waited for the silence to amplify my heartbeat, but it was drowned by the multitude of thoughts that swarmed my mind. i found myself entertaining forbidden feelings, confronting my pretense, conjuring new lies, making more excuses, shedding some tears. there was not a moment of peace, not even when i desperately prayed for the noise to end so i could hear God again.
i miss Him. that’s all there is.