maybe i’m jealous that you’ve at least had the chance to say “no“. all i’ve had were multiple chances for them to say “no” to me. at least you could make a choice. i’ve always been at their mercy, on the verge of begging, in tears.
i’m not looking for an opportunity to let that “no” leave my lips. i just wish that for once, only once will do, i’d be able to say “yes” and be happy.
am i bitter? of course i’m bitter. perhaps i don’t deserve anything sweet.