too complex to categorise

there are many things that are wrong with me. i’m a procrastinator, i’m a lazy perfectionist, i’m self-righteous…

but the one flaw i consider my worst is that i’m a jane of all trades, a master of none.

oh i love medicine, science, literature, interior design, travel, music, language, photography, spectator sports, and whatever else under the sun. however, ask me a question that scratches a little below the surface of each of those disciplines and i’m stumped.

my parents wanted my sister and i to pursue professions that require some level of expertise, which explains why she’s a lawyer and i’m on my way to becoming a doctor. it’s probably the reason i feel dead guilty about not being very good at one thing. it’s probably why i feel a little like a failure at times. but i guess if i were more optimistic and self-driven, it wouldn’t bother me so much. it’s rather unfair to pin the blame on them.

anyway, i was lamenting about this to a friend last morning and he sent me a rather interesting article. what struck me most was the bit about how anyone can be pretty darn good at anything after investing just one year to learn it properly.

of course, that got my mind spinning and generating plans that’d die because of my procrastination anyway. let’s learn italian next year! i’ll dig out my old garments and fish for bargain buys at flea markets and bazaars, close my eyes and dive into the world of diy recycling reconstructing fashiondecor! i’ll make it a point to do some running every week so i can complete that half marathon when i graduate! i will delve into the history of my favourite football club and players and be a neighbourhood pundit! i’ll memorise the clinical guidelines for paediatric medicine and read bmj reviews and subscribe to a journal! i’ll…i’ll…

i’ll probably end up not doing any of those properly at all!

=(

well, it’d be great if i could end up as someone who’s too complex to be categorised, put neatly into a pigeon-hole or sorted into a filing cabinet. but i’m still hoping for something to take hold of every ounce of passion in my soul (if there’s even any passion in me at all) so i can pour my whole self into perfecting it, to reach a level where it’ll bless anyone i come into contact with.

jack of all trades, master of none; but still better than master of one.

i’d rather be a master of one and a novice in many…if that’s possible at all.

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