insufficient

i’ve spent two days with health equity initiatives so far, and it’s filled me with lots of things to reflect on.

i guess i am most overwhelmed by the state of how things are for refugees in malaysia. i am left with a feeling of helplessness and insignificance, but it has also reiterated the point that many of the problems faced by people are far too big for people to overcome. we are so flawed as humans that the simple notion of loving each other and treating each other with dignity and respect requires endless pages of conventions and treaties to define and numerous parties to enforce.

when did mankind become so complicated, narrow-minded, self-orientated? is this a new low we’ve reached or have we always been languishing in the bottom of the pit?

there are far too many thoughts running through my head. thoughts of unity – not just in politically unstable countries like myanmar and thailand, but also in countries with merely tolerable governments like my darling tanah tumpahnya darahku. thoughts of bureaucracy – can things be more difficult?

i am convinced that awareness isn’t enough. even advocacy is insufficient. the only thing that would cut it now is to become a minister/president/king, a decision-maker, a policy-changer. who doesn’t need issues to be lobbied, advocated, discussed in forums. who will seek out the issues him/herself.

but all the nonsense that goes on between getting from where i am – a confused, idealistic student – to the top is what puts me off from trying. perhaps my place is really here on the ground, struggling to resist the road to disillusionment which only grows wider as i grow older.

sigh. today is another day on that road.

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