“as i introduced them, the past came back to me
and i couldn’t help but think of the way things used to be
sometimes i thank God for unanswered prayers
remember when you’re talkin’ to the man upstairs
that just because He doesn’t answer doesn’t mean He don’t care
some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers“
– from “unanswered prayers” by garth brooks
thing is, i know that God’s will is perfect and that it is very different from what i want it to be. i trust that He has my best interest at heart, that He ultimately has everyone’s best interest at heart. i may whine when things don’t turn out the way i want them to, but deep inside i know that His will and purpose for me is still better than anything i can ever imagine.
i hold onto the so-often-quoted-that-they-are-cliched verses – jeremiah 29:11, romans 8:28 – and just go on and do the best i can. which is, of course, never enough…never enough for me.
so fine, maybe they’re all not the right ones for me. maybe i have to wait longer. maybe they’ll finally make that move later. maybe i’m meant to come to complete terms with the possibility of studyingworkingliving in malaysia for the rest of my life. maybe writing will never be a source of income for me.
maybe God’s silence in the prayers i’ve been praying is because the answer to them is silence. no. not yet. or just no. maybe i will thank Him for it later.
maybe i should thank Him for it now.