cpg me #1

the clinical practice guideline to…me.

if i appoint a certain time and place to meet, you can be pretty darn sure that’s the time and place that you will see me. feel free to be late, but if your arrival will be delayed by 15mins or more, i’d appreciate it if you’d give me a heads up at least 30mins before the predetermined time of meeting. i’d do the same for you.

if you’re going to be unforgivably late (my threshold is about 40mins), we might as well reschedule. i won’t be as upset about rescheduling as i would be waiting for you for 3hrs 30mins (longest my patience has ever held out for) as you send me apologetic smses about “unforseen circumstances* every 5 minutes or so.

if i say “let’s meet at 8pm tomorrow.” and you give your okay, it means we’ll meet at 8pm tomorrow. it means i won’t be sending you any confirmatory smses. why? because there’s no need for confirmatory smses when i intend to uphold my end of that agreement.

actually, if we agreed on a certain time to do anything at all, there will be no further contact about that time or activity unless something’s changed. or if you have fresh gossip to share. then yeah, by all means contact me.

if you can’t decide what to do, where to go and when to do it, be prepared to hear a suggestion from me. if you don’t like my suggestion, then please recommend something of your own. if you don’t have any suggestions, then i’m not gonna have any part in that decision-making process. life’s too short to waste on playing games like “nola i’m ok with anything” when you’re obviously not.

and that concludes the first part of the clinical practice guidelines to…me.

*acceptable definitions of “unforseen circumstances” = your mother went for a facial and forgot that you need a ride to the mall eventhough you reminded her about it every day for a week, OR the car/lrt/taxi/monorail/bullock cart you were taking broke down on the way to the meeting point, OR your best friend is contemplating suicide and you were the only one she was willing to talk to, OR your cat/dog is giving birth and you’re the only one at home (hamsters/gerbils/any other rodents do not qualify), OR you’re not feeling well (must be preceded by prodromal symptoms that have been mentioned in prior conversations), OR a crowd of protesters protesting against a government policy spontaneously appeared in the middle of the road you happened to be travelling on and the fru threw tear gas in your direction, hence disabling you immediately.

disclaimer: all guidelines were written in jest. well, not all. okfine none of them.


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