i didn’t forget

i would rather cross my arms and arm myself with a look of bemusement, make mildly sarcastic remarks about everything you say and refuse to look you in the eye. i would rather do all that than to laugh and allow myself to enjoy your presence.

jealous me, i could never live with the knowledge that you belong to no one but Him and i’d have to share you with the others who do laugh and enjoy you openly.

i would rather convey a subtle hostility towards you than wish i didn’t have to. you already give so much of yourself to so many people. it wouldn’t hurt you to not give anything to me and it doesn’t hurt me to not receive. i would rather not, anyway.
– from “go home“, 4th june 2007

i have a habit of saving stuff on the internet that mean something to me, or have successfully drawn out a laugh from my lips (omg so cliched!). in case you haven’t noticed, most of them are from “postsecret”, “modern love”, “savage chickens” and “a softer world”. for some odd reason i haven’t put a link to the “a softer world” website on my sidebar, but you can get there by clicking on the 3-paneled strip above.

the beauty of collecting those images is that some of them may have caught my eye because they communicated exactly the situation i was in at that certain point in my life. those pictures are the best because over time, they lose their meaning and become empty representatives of a feeling i once had but now have lost.

still others remind me of significant phases i went through or people i will never forget.

the picture above belongs somewhere in the middle of those two categories. he still isn’t there just for me but i no longer wish he were.

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