lucky break

physics was my least favourite subject in both secondary school and junior college. i almost failed the subject at certain points in both those stages of my education and i told myself that i will never ever consider a career in engineering.

however, i do like to think that i learnt enough during those 4 years to grasp the concept of how airplanes – objects of greater density than air – can fly. yes, yes i kinda recall bernoulli’s principle and newton’s laws. so yes, i should be able to come to terms with the fact that air travel is a perfectly logical, possible phenomenon.

so it freaks me out that i freak out whenever a plane takes off. it doesn’t make sense. it’s an irrational response from someone whose mind is wired around evidence-based decisions and logical thought processes. 100% of the flights i’ve been on have successfully taken me from point A to point B rather uneventfully. isn’t that enough proof that the wright brothers got it right?

yet, i am an anxious flyer who, deep down, is afraid that those laws and principles are really just suggestions that happen to work most of the time but, you know, those times when they do work out are in actual fact lucky breaks and this time i won’t be so lucky.

this postsecret made me laugh because far from being turned on, i tend to switch myself off during take offs. i become either inappropriately chatty or unusually quiet during those long, agonising seconds during which the aircraft speeds up in order to gain enough velocity and hence enough lift to get itself off the ground.

and that moment when it wins the battle against gravity? i can feel my heart drop to the ground each and every time.

it’s been an eventful week in melbourne. i feel rested and exhausted all at once and i just hope that tomorrow will be enough to prepare me for what is to come in my final year as a medical student. it is gonna be a scary ride, one that i am reluctant to get on, but i guess my only option is to hang on tight and rough it out just like i have managed to for the last 4 years.

there aren’t any principles and laws governing the ability for anyone to make it through medical school and i often feel like i have been experiencing nothing more than one lucky break after another, but i am trusting God to continue being the “lift” i’ve needed all this while.

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