“isn’t it easy to be less than honest when you blog?” asked a friend a couple of days ago.
“well, yeah,” i replied, “but i think i’ve been pretty true to myself so far.”
that, of course, was me being less than honest. you don’t need a blog to put up a front for yourself. all you need is the ability to smooth things over and loads of practice at presenting a presentable image. but that’s not the point.
blogging is my outlet of choice simply because it suits who i am. i am not a very talkative person, although like everyone else, i sometimes experience bouts of verbal diarrhoea when it comes to things i love – books, movies, medical ethics, et cetera. as a perfectionist, i like that i can correct my grammar, make changes to sentence structure and delete unnecessary words or paragraphs, all before hitting the “publish” button.
for example, i’ve noticed that i tend to do things in “threes“. in the paragraph above, i’ve used 2 lists of 3 elements already. it’s a bad habit and one that will cost me that book deal in 30 years, but it’s part of me. perhaps i should blame it on the books i’ve read over the years. i wonder if there are any authors who have the same habit and happen to have editors that didn’t notice. anyway, blogging allows me to find an alternative way of presenting what i want to say. it gives me time to think about what i’ve written and whether it is worthy to be read by my 8 faithful readers. if it isn’t, i can do a ctrl+A del and start over.
not everything on this blog is a true representative of who i am. yes, i get rather emotional at times and instead of whining or crying, i channel that emotion into cryptic (or not-so-cryptic) posts. yes, i tend to have an opinion about alot of things and instead of talking about them, i choose to read just a little more so i’d have a better picture of what’s going on and then write about it. it gives the illusion that i’m smarter than i really am – i really do just read a little more; i am that lazy. it also delivers the message that i’m a drama queen who is perpetually overwhelmed by crises and is forever crying in my car.
so i guess i can say that whatever i blog is an exaggeration of who i am. but it’s still me. and at least i’m honest about being a narcissist deep down inside.
thanks for reading, if you’re still here. the holidays, the relief at the prospect of having NO EXAMS WHATSOEVER for the next 5 months, and the continuous consumption of alcohol (an exaggeration, in case you’re wondering) for the last couple of days has effectively turned my brain to mush. i have not given a newspaper the respect it deserves for more than 2 weeks and the stack of books i have yet to read are still lying stagnant on my bedside table.
as a result, i have absolutely nothing substantial to blog about. nothing that doesn’t belong in a chick flick, anyway. catch you later.