i am not

you know,” he said, “guys actually like it when women act like they’re damsels in distress who want to be rescued.

at the time, i was just wowed by his straight-out-of-a-fairytale story of how he, a nice guy, got the girl. and so a light went on in my head and i thought…yeah, he’s right.

but then i see my peers pouting over the most trivial things, or squealing like they’re 12, or something along those lines and i think…HELL NO.

fine if that’s what the guys find attractive because it conforms to their borderline sexist views on women. if that’s what most men want, then they can have those girls. if that’s what society accepts, then i’ll step aside and let society walk on by.

i’d be lying if i say i have never tried acting cuter, being “sweeter”, or pretending to be manja in an attempt to be liked. but each and every time it ends with me feeling like a fraud and being absolutely disgusted with myself for resorting to the kind of behaviour that i can only barely tolerate on a good day. in moderate doses. not as who i am.

so yes i feel sorry for myself for being like this, and not like the kawaii girls who have a knack of being damsels in distress, always on the receiving end of kindness lest they burst into tears. i have the worse end of the deal and there is the occasional bitterness to address for the rest of my life.

but i’d rather face rejection as an emo kid who can’t cheer up than be who i am not.


4 responses to “i am not

  1. Well, one can’t be what oneself is not – one needs to be true to oneself, otherwise one is just wasting one’s life in living a lie – and how long can that last?

    Do not listen to those guys – all that is shallow.

    Ultimately, what turns anyone on, and more important, that endures as the years go by, is – the mind of a person.

  2. fully agree with richard…follow the heart…be urself…someone will definitely love u for that..im not very typical either….

  3. “To thine own self be true”

    You don’t really think I “act” out kawaii right? Even when I put on a touch ice queen exterior the boys still chase me left to right… maybe you should come to Europe.

    I have to say this though, after some encounters, Malaysian men expect too much out of a girl while they themselves are overgrown boys trying to be a “hero”.

    Being a woman is a natural thing. Let the guys chase, its instinct. You know how I refuse to be a damsel in distress, but my shyness proves irresistable when in Italy 😐 .. swt… Just relax, let the man initiate something and you follow. Know your role as a woman, women are, after all, easier to deceive like eve. REality is women are more spiritual and colourful and men cant contain that, still you have to level down to a strong person that will appreciate you and give you cover, that’s his role.

  4. i know what you mean .

    sometimes when ppl are obviously overly acting cute, it just makes me feel disgusted.

    and no, i don’t believe in the “acting as damsel in distress” trick to get guys. i dont think much of the guy if they fall for the girl just becoz of that.

    but hey, I’m a bit of a feminist, so what can i say?

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