i ended my 5 years in secondary school with a rejection. it wasn’t as if i didn’t see it coming – i saw it coming for 4 years. still, i chose to end my misery by bringing it out in the open and hearing it from the horse’s mouth. it was the first time i had to face real rejection and while i learned some valuable lessons from the experience, it didn’t make it any less unpleasant.
two universities rejected me at the end of junior college. i learned the meaning of self-sabotage and it marked the beginning of not-having-things-go-my-way. it was also the start of being humbled time and again by God’s plans, the slow unfolding of how some things do happen for a reason even if i don’t understand it at the time.
now, at the end of my undergraduate studies, i find myself looking rejection straight in the eye once more. like the first, i saw it a mile off. maybe i should have recognised that it was futile right from the start, but i wanted to believe so much that i would be welcome.
guess i’m not.
there’s no point in me staying here prolonging my loneliness.