july

it’s a little disorientating going from a rotation where people drop like flies to one where a death, even unavoidable, is not acceptable. 

i’m currently in the crypt called the labour room, where i shout encouragement at women bringing new life into the world, while getting my own spirits crushed each day. most of my superiors are less than friendly and even after 2.5 weeks in the department, i’m still unsure about what i’m expected to do on my own and what absolutely 100% requires input from my medical officers before anything is carried out.

whenever i encounter unpleasant people, i usually rationalise by saying that they’re alot more stressed than i am because they shoulder alot more responsibility. if they cope by being sarcastic and snappy, fine, as long as the patients are alright. besides, housemen aren’t perfect. we make annoying mistakes (that sometimes our superiors forget they probably made as well), some of us do indeed need a lesson in humility, and all of us have alot to learn.

but there were times in the last few weeks when i found myself thinking…maybe they’re just mean, and there’s no rationalising about it.

for me, i cope by talking to the fresh-out-of-the-oven babies i examine each day. as i cradle their heads and force their eyelids open so i can look for ocular abnormalities, i tell them about my day. i ask them what they’ve done to deserve to be born into such a cruel world. i stroke their cheeks and think about how, in 20 or so years, they will also be in a job they both love and hate.

but for now all their senses are focused on the comfort of their mother’s breast…and things will be alright.

i’m still waiting for the day i wake up in the morning looking forward to work. i hope it comes soon. 8 months and counting.

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4 responses to “july

  1. Some people just want to make other people’s lives difficult. I’ve learnt to confront these people (professionally and respectfully) and break down their macho act. No more games and poker faces. You’ll be surprised at their responses though. They will try to deny it, of course (human nature at its best). But they will apologize, and because you’ve come clean and lay the cards on the table for both sides to see, they’re very unlikely to continue treating you the way they used to. If anything, I think the relationship will become better. Certainly, you and I … and they both know that no one can’t argue with feelings. If a person’s actions or words have hurt somebody, it’s real. Feelings are real 🙂

  2. And… alot of times, these people don’t even realize they’re hurting other people’s feelings. So it’s nice to just keep it simple and talk about it like rational adults 🙂 Gambatte!!~~

  3. it might work in canada, where people are generally more mature and civilised. malaysians still have this hierarchy thing that does not allow a junior person much of an opinion, whether it be professional or respectful in nature.

    8 months into the job and i’ve learnt that the people with the worst problems are the ones who will listen least to reason and not take criticism well. it’s better to say “yes ma’am”, swallow anything you have to say, and make it through the rotation without much confrontation. sad, but true.

  4. press on lishun!

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