stay tuned for self-pity

it’s time for everybody’s favourite programme: “lishun feels sorry for herself”!

just contemplating on the unfairness that is life and everything in it. how things come easy for some. how love comes easy for some. how a single calorie is unnecessary for some. how i have to consume a couple thousand extra on top of my daily requirement in order to feel even the least bit happy about myself.

how being a good person isn’t enough these days. how sometimes even being a great person doesn’t quite cut it. how appallingly desperate i can get. me, a doctor who finds joy in a job well done, in being entrusted with tasks i would rather not do, a person who likes doing different things, listening to different music, reading different books, talking about different issues.

and, if being a good person isn’t sufficient, how can a reminder of that be? you know, the reminder that i am a good person?

i’m a freaking doctor who generally enjoys her work and is not a nerd. i mean…come on! i should not have to feel this way, but i do.

anyway, i’m going home tomorrow. it’s one of those things i do to cope but it just makes me feel like a child, and not in a good way. whatever. it’s so unfair.

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