two months ago, i had a bite on my left lower arm. it was itchy to hell and i scratched it, hoping it’d go away. but then a small nodule appeared on my left elbow. and that nodule grew bigger, and bigger, then it became two nodules, then it became an inflamed patch of skin on my elbow, then papular lesions sprung up. first on my lower arm. then my fingers, the dorsum of my hands, crept up my arm, onto the other arm and my right hand.
then my torso. and one day, during a call, i unconsciously scratched my ankles…and the rash appeared there too. then my calves, my thighs, and just a few days ago, some turned up on my upper chest.
and while all this happened, there was an unbearable itch, unsuppressed by antihistamines, moisturisers and topical steroids. the resulting scratch marks, weeping wounds, scars are just…depressing.
it’s enough that i am an unattractive woman who has flab in the wrong places and disproportionate features. now, i have eczema. great.
i know these are middle-class yuppie worries (who the hell would have time to worry about a bloody skin condition if food needs to be on the table for a family of 5 – and one on the way – and the landlord is coming to collect tomorrow night?) but it just seems like God is very intent on making sure i die alone, drowned in emollients, covered in red, itchy papules.
i can’t deny it, it’s affecting me in every way. i scratch out of spite. i go to work in a dazed state because despite what they say, the main side effect of “non-sleepy antihistamines” is, you guessed it, drowsiness. i no longer wear skirts. i am considering getting a burqa. tell people i’ve converted to islam. maybe then some rich arabian guy would be interested, i dunno, and we can go horse riding at batu ferringhi.
it takes up to half a year to “cure” eczema. i think it’s already ruined a good part of my immediate future, let alone the next six months.