running is an essentially introspective activity. haruki murakami wrote a book about his adventures with long-distance running and while i haven’t read it, i’m sure it contains epiphanies and insights he’s gained after the focus on breathing and pace goes away and the legs start having a life of their own.
i run because it’s the cheapest form of exercise and malaysian weather permits me to do it outdoors throughout the year. there are very few excuses other than rain that justify not running and that’s a good thing for someone who’s perpetually overweight and out of shape.
but the fact that it’s introspective does have its disadvantages. like now, when all i wanna do is NOT think about myself and my middle-class problems and doomed to be forever alone status, that is precisely all i can think about when i’m out running by myself. the unfortunate choice of music in my ipod – stuff that remind me of high school, love songs i
downloaded obtained for a friend’s wedding, the beatles and their uncanny way of singing something i can relate to all the time – makes it just that much worse.
just yesterday i stumbled upon a song by the fab four that i had never heard before. the words came somewhere at the 2km mark and they floated through my ears: one day you’ll look to see i’ve gone, one day you’ll know i was the one, but tomorrow may rain so i’ll follow the sun. i must go. and though i lose a friend, in the end you will know.
i let out a long sigh and kept on running.
my friend was right. i should have spent a ridiculous amount of money on a gym membership and gone for classes like body combat and smashsomeonesfaceinrobics where the background music is some 80s club thumping song and not do any thinking at all.