five hundred days

“The (500) Days of Summer attitude of “He wants you so bad” seems attractive to some women and men, especially younger ones, but I would encourage anyone who has a crush on my character to watch it again and examine how selfish he is. He develops a mildly delusional obsession over a girl onto whom he projects all these fantasies. He thinks she’ll give his life meaning because he doesn’t care about much else going on in his life. A lot of boys and girls think their lives will have meaning if they find a partner who wants nothing else in life but them. That’s not healthy. That’s falling in love with the idea of a person, not the actual person.”
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, on 20Q

a close friend of mine watched 500 days of summer for the first time yesterday and expressed her confusion at the end of the movie. why didn’t it have a conventional romcom ending? why didn’t he get the girl he wanted so much? i tried explaining that the appeal of the film was in its anti-romcom approach, that in real life the guy doesn’t always get the girl, even if she’s a manic pixie dream girl who, by the laws of hollywood, should die or eventually move in with 3 guys who are of questionable sexuality…oh wait.

anyway.

i liked 500 days of summer, particularly that “expectations vs reality” scene which seems to have an extraordinary rate of recurrence in my life. of course i relate better with the male protagonist – i’m obviously not a hot girl with quirky attributes who looks great in skater dresses and white pumps – but i never really thought of him as being selfish until recently.

what do i want out of a relationship anyway? the honest answer would be unwavering adoration and commitment. the emo hipster tumblr imgfave answer would be to have someone to share breakfast with. and the mature, correct, church-approved reply would be something that is God-honouring and be an act of self-denial. but mostly unwavering adoration and commitment, because that is what i am willing to give as well.

yes it’s self-fulfilling, but i’m already in a job that requires me to give up much of what i love. sometimes i feel it’s not wrong to want something in return, that i deserve reciprocation. that at least one or two items on the list of qualities i want – a list i have abandoned in the name of maturity – should materialise. is that too much to ask for?

anyway, i feel there is alot that i need to change about how i perceive relationships. i’m probably single and unapproachable because of the “he’s just not into you” principle i hold onto or, to be realistic, the 5kg i need to lose stat. i sometimes think part of the answer is to stop being a doctor since it’s a constant source of annoyance, but i would prefer a solution that doesn’t involve giving up my source of income.

or i should stop getting my cues from movies, even anti-romcoms, or actors who have no notion of my existence. yeah, i think that should be it.

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