confidence

what makes someone confident?

as the child of a man who literally got off the boat and made a name for himself through academia, i can safely say that confidence comes from knowledge.

as a junior doctor who has seen my seniors cut their operating time from three hours to two to 90 minutes, i can also conclude that practice makes one more confident.

as an aunt who is watching proudly as my sister does an exceptional job at caring for her second baby after exhausting all resources figuring out my first niece, it is clear that time and experience contributes towards confidence.

knowledge, practice and experience…surely my peers have picked some of that up from working as doctors for more than a year? yet a (disappointing) handful of them are still nowhere as confident as an impending medical officer should be.

it’s been a disappointing couple of months, made worse by the fact that there will be no change in environment for the next 3-4 weeks. perhaps i’ll miss it all when i go to a new place with new people and a new system, but right now that desire to leave and never come back is burning even more than before.

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