right now the place i want to be most is in the middle of a mosh pit at a coldplay/switchfoot/bon jovi/muse/foo fighters/jimmy eat world/oasis concert, moving my body to the beat of the drums, hearing the bass line before it comes on, singing the words that i know, humming the ones that i don’t, someone else’s shoulder hitting mine, my hands clapping, arms waving…

i’m in my half-packed room with my bedsheets hung out to dry. in the background, chris martin is singing a song that he wrote for me. there’s really nothing to do except wait till  445pm, which is when i’m going out for a movie. i’m procrastinating tying up the loose ends, and there are many. i’m deciding whether to read a new book or register for the exam i need to retake in 2 months. i’m figuring out when i should go and get a quotation and pay the deposit for repairs on my car. i’m wondering when i should go home next weekend. i’m considering the pros and cons of telling him before he leaves, or before i leave, or if at all. i’m thinking of lunch. i’m thinking about too many damn things.

the place i want to be right now is in a crowd, where the only thing i am thinking about is what song the band will play next, and if it would be a track off their new album, which only a real fan would know, or a single that i am sure to be able to sing along to. because i’m never a real fan of anything. i know enough about most things to be considered interested, but i’m never a true follower or worshipper.

it’s a beautiful saturday afternoon.


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