in medicine, we order investigations based on how much value the results would add to our diagnosis and management.

for example, not every person with back pain requires an MRI, which is usually done in anticipation of a surgery. in fact, a full blood count is overkill for a young, healthy man who’s been admitted for an elective surgery.

we sometimes still carry out these investigations, either out of doubt or if it’s kind of reasonable in view of the patient’s clinical condition or because it’s “protocol”. but most of the time, we have to ask ourselves what we’re trying to achieve by subjecting our patients to more pain and radiation. how will the results affect the diagnosis? will it change the management? improve the patient’s prognosis?

this was running through my head as i contemplated making the second emotionally-charged confession of affection and possibly borderline stalker behaviour of my life. what would saying how i feel or have felt over the last 2 years achieve? am i expecting a sudden conversion or reciprocation? no, of course not. it’s obvious there’ll be no clapping here. would it change his plans? i highly doubt it. would i feel any better? past experience tells me that it’d be naive to think so.

it wouldn’t change the management or the outcome or the prognosis or provide any psychological relief. it would be a pointless exercise, no value added to anyone’s life whatsoever…especially not mine.

i’m glad i’m leaving soon. i just wonder how long more i have to face situations like this and if it’s truly my fault or i just have really really rotten luck.


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