i’m sure we are all aware of what psychological stress does to us.

to keep things simple, it impairs the body’s immune system by decreasing the total white blood cell count, affecting the function of the defense cells present and reducing the response of cells towards agents that stimulate growth.

that pretty much explains why we fall ill when we go through stressful situations such as job interviews, friction at home or (who can forget?) exams.

what stress does to us, however, is not limited to the physical. it also renders our hearts more vulnerable, more sensitive. it makes us do the stupidest of things that put us in the stickiest of situations that require much cleaning up.

it would be a lie if i said i have never tried to exploit that. after all, it’s worked for many others…why shouldn’t it have worked for me?
(but it didn’t, and i alone was left to pay for it. at least i’m wiser now.)

so if it’s happened to me before, why am i so judgmental about something similar happening to somebody else? surely i can understand where their actions were coming from? surely my anger and disappointment is not justified at all? shouldn’t i be satisfied with “it could have been worse“?
(but somehow i’m not)

perhaps i should be more concerned about the fact that if it can happen to me, or them, it can happen to just about anyone else. by “anyone else“, i mean people who don’t have the same principles we hold on to, people who have not yet the privilege of knowing what we know. they would probably get the worse end of things.

there’s no escaping stress and its consequences, whether it be a broken body or a broken heart. i guess a part of me resents that because it means i have to continually be on guard for myself as well as be on guard for others too. it takes energy and effort. that’s probably why sometimes that defense breaks down at a point of fatigue and we’re in too deep before we know it.

sigh. kinda sucks huh?


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